Letters to Daddy
'I am my beloved's and His desire is toward me.' ~ Song of Solomon 7:10
I love writing. I feel I can express my deepest feelings and thoughts on paper without holding back. Having been subject to the spirit of crippling fear for most of my life, writing was my safe place. I felt no fear there. And so for a long time, writing fulfilled my need as a place of safety, a place free of judgment and condemnation, a place where I could express myself as I truly was and feel accepted. I had become so use to wearing a mask to hide my pain in my daily encounters and so writing was a place where my mask came off and I could just be myself. What a relief, I would think to myself.
And so, as far back as I can remember, I began to journal. I would document every facet of my journey in life traversing my childhood, throughout my teenage years, my early woman hood and now into present day. I didn’t know in this journey of writing that God would later use my method of escape as a platform to freedom.
You see in September 2017, I had a life changing encounter with Jesus Christ on my bedroom floor. I had just ended yet another failed unGodly relationship. I wept bitterly, full of self-hate, brokenness and even anger towards the Lord. As I began to quiet down and my crying subsided, the spirit of peace came upon me and the Holy Spirit spoke to me. Sue-Ann, now that I have your attention, daughter when did you ever ask me about this relationship? Have you ever truly surrendered and given me your whole heart? Will you trust me with your whole life? A light bulb went off in my head.
In that moment, as I sat in the presence of God, I saw reflections in a mirror which showed me:
• Myself as I truly was before him, an unworthy sinner
• I saw Jesus Christ RIGHTLY
• I saw my own wayward, rebellious heart before God
Psalm 51:17 NLT –
“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.“
And so, on my bedroom floor, I offered God the only sacrifice I had to give, my broken, rebellious, angry, fearful heart. But what was amazing to me was the response to my offering. It was magnificent!! As my HEART bowed before the Lord, I felt something shift in my own heart and I knew I had been changed. I truly REPENTED!!! You see even though I had accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and had been water baptized 6 years earlier, I realized I had not truly repented or given Jesus Christ Lordship over my life or my whole heart. In that moment, what had began many years ago as Dear Diary was now being reborn. And so that night I began a new journal journey, with my letters now being addressed to my heavenly Father, Abba, or more affectionately called by me Daddy. Letters to Daddy was born.
As I spend more time in the presence of my father, I find I continue to grow in his love for me because of his continued grace being poured out upon me:
1 Timothy 1:14 NIV –
“The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.”
His grace empowers me to enter into his presence eagerly, boldly and happily now, as I made a decision to believe and stand on this game changing scripture:
Romans 8:1 –2 NIV –
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”
God’s heart for his daughters is one which wants us to know just how much he loves us. A father’s love for his daughter is a truly special love. I believe that God wants his daughters to stand on solid footing where we UAB: Understand, Accept and Build our first fundamental Father Daughter relationship, that of our relationship with our Heavenly Father through his son Jesus Christ. When we receive the love of God in Christ Jesus, we are empowered to embrace and return our love back to him freely. This then equips us to share his love with others as we walk out living a life that is truly complete in him through faith:
Colossians 2:10 –
“And you have been made complete in Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.”
I would like to share just a few lines from two of my Letters to Daddy:
“January 1, 2019
My heart is filled with so much joy and love for you. Thank you so much for being so good to me in 2018. You took such GREAT care of me and truly showed me Ephesians 3:20. I just love you so much.”
“January 2, 2019,
Today was such an awesome day. I learnt so much more about you and my future home. WOW!!! I feel like there is just so much to know about you and sometimes I feel like I won’t learn it all. Your word refreshes my soul Father.”
I pray this word encouraged you today and you will run back to a place of intimacy at the fe